Ok, the first page was for the ladies, these are for the boys.
Eskimo’s “it’s just too much” All Day Breakfast.
No messing around now, it’s a full hit (my dad says that, I’ll be dancing like him next), sausages, bacon (crispy or fatty-your wish is our command), hash browns, fried or scrambled eggs, fat toast, lots of it, endless toast actually, black pudding (does anyone really like this?) mushrooms, tomatoes, beans, and the obligatory STEAMING HOT CUPPA TEA! Don’t drink it too quick it makes you sweaty.
This breakfast is the known cure for all morning ailments- low blood sugar, low cholesterol, constipation, hang over, hunger and thirst, even broken hearts. The Red Cross have asked if we can send them out to war torn famine stricken countries, but we believe charity starts at home- so you get it first.
(and it comes looking so neat even Little Chef can’t compete)
All this, somehow on one plate, for £5.95. have I sold it to you??
Eskimo’s Legendary home made Burger
Our gratitude to our chef, the smiling Mark Milton, for this absolute master piece. It’s like the wheel off a tractor. With a toasted bun each end. I don’t know how he lifts them off the grill personally. It sits in your stomach for like a week, and you can feel it. I imagine it’s a little like being pregnant, only without the pain when you eventually “pass” it, just a satisfying slightly forced sigh. Nobody has EVER eaten two- it’s not like in maccy’s where, if alone, you order two cheese burgers cos you can stuff them in your cake-hole in one go, and a side order of nuggets for good measure, all before you get to the round-about, oh no, this bugger is the Real Deal McNeal.
It comes with crispy bacon and cheese, at £7.95, with chips and salad, not that anyone cares, it’s all about the burger.
EAT IT.
If Maccys wanna fight, come down, we’ll ave you. And yer muffins. The chef was a pro boxer in his youth, he’ll “Mc ****” the lot of you.
For the ladies
and occasional gentleman, we also feature daily specials, ask the chef to let you know “What’s Cookin” (ha ha). We’ll knock up various pasta’s, and fish of the day type affairs all day long for you too. Think about what you’d like- ask the chef, he’ll sort it out. Get It? Good.